Have something to write....

I, a should-be-young man with contradiction for nearly everything, always think about myself. I'd complained for my job, for my current life, for my characteristics. How can a man love this world with so many complaining words?

I love the time after work, but when it comes to hand, I had nothing to do. I want a suitable rank to admit my work, but sometimes, I was afraid of getting big tasks. I had an invisible barrier laid before me, between the thing I desired and I hoped. I want the glory but I'm afraid to suffer the pain behind it.

I weep for those guys who struggle to succeed, but I'm afraid to be one of them. The contradiction hold me, not willing to let me move forward. It whispers some evil words in my head, making me weak. I cannot defeat it. I cannot help but surrender to it. I...

A life is a period of time that you need to decide to decorate it by yourself. People always say it is like a canvas, and you are a painter. It is you who make a sketch on it. It is you who decide which or who should appear on it. It is you who give the colors on it. It is you who stamps it when the work is finished. Simple to say, but hard to do. How could I take actions? I know I am so conservative, not an active person. How's a person like me having some movements?

A barrier, invisible, unmovable and unbreakable, lays in front for many a year. Still there, stood high and wide to look down at me.