Waving

I paid no attention around, because my eyes fixed on something. Something laid on the ground in the opposite street. Cars passed by made the scene like a constantly-changed slides. I had bad eyes, but I had something better. The breeze gently flew around my body. Like a hand stroking my back, touching my head, scratching my stomach, squeezing my nose... oh, wait, not squeezing it, it is more like shaking! But shaking for what? Something smelled good in the air. My nose told me the smell came from the thing in the opposite side. This is too real, my nose shaking, sniffing, rapidly...


REAL... TOO REAL!!


I struggled to open my eyes, they did, but only half-open. However, it is enough to see what had happened nearby. In the blurred image, I saw a human taking something in his hand. Something made of two circular yellow stuffs and the white in between. 


"Ka-chi ... ka... chi.."  (It sounds good)


I saw the powder floating in the air as the human crushed that stuff between his teeth. His lips moved up and down and appeared to satisfy what was inside. The scene made my mouth water.


I must wake up before the human finished that thing. I called up my strength, gathered my feet, lifted my body, marched to the target. Wait! Do I forget something? Something is really important to the human.... Yes, I remember it.

I donned my smile, watered my eyes, licked my nose, and, the most important of all, waved my tail. You had to precisely control the angle of waving. Too big meant that you were too eager to do something, and forgot the one you treated was a noble human (they liked to call themselves noble), they gave nothing to you if you didn't make them feel proud. Too small meant that you didn't care about them, you ignored them and they also ignored you. After I measured the temperature, the strength of the wind, the gravity, I carefully made up an angle which looked graceful, meaningful, and showed respect. 


Waving, waving, waving... He noticed my approaching. Good, the first step completed. I sat, looking up. Although it looked like begging, but it was not. It was the way how we lived for so many years since our ancestors met the human first time.


The smell... I could tasted some in the air... It was delicious... It should be delicious! So close... in front of my eyes...
Waving, waving, not too fast....
Waving, waving, carefully maintain the angle...
Waving, waving.... the smell is so.... uh? DISAPPEARED!!??


It can be! My nose sniffed severely, searching for the smell. But it was really gone. I noticed there was something in the human's throat, crawling down and down and down, and I expected it would be something in the toilet some day.


This time... I failed again... I had prepared all the things for that, but I missed it. Do I feel pity? Of course I do. But I know if I don't wave, I lose the last chance.


I wave, because I see the chance.

In the wind, deep in the thought.

The trees outside all bent to the same direction. People gave out their umbrella, running for some hide.  I could hear the wind passed by even though the windows were closed. The repeated reports of typhoon made me nervous.

I think it was just this moment all the thoughts hid deeply inside would flush out.

Looking back a few months ago, I got the letter in which my bonus of last year was written. It had been dramatically decreased compared to the last year. In addition, at that time, our team just got the project transferred from another team, which had worked on it for a long time. If you never saw that project, you would never know why the original team spent so much time on it in order to meet the schedule. Structureless, no logic, no "latest" spec. The consequence is:
1. Any slight modification may have more bugs produced.
2. It is hard to maintain since you don't know what the codes really mean. Actually, it means nothing sometimes.
3. The modification may change the behavior but you have no chance to learn it, since there is no latest version of spec.
4. If you are going to implement a feature, it may affect existed one, since you don't know there exists such one. The none-latest spec tells nothing about the history of this project.

I felt numbness inside. I felt anger burning the soul. I didn't know what did I fight for. Fight for money? Ridiculous! You had spent 13 hours a day in the company in the last year but you got less bonus in this year, were you willing to have another hard work year? Fight for the knowledge? Insane! The project you were watching taught nothing, just craps. I lost the direction in my life.

Last month, I accidentally visited the autobiography of Steve Paul Jobs, who is the CEO of Apple. He had been resigned by Apple in 1985. It was easy to imagine how sad he was. Being fired by the company he created. The depression lasted for a few months and finally he learned one thing --  he really loves his job, so he founded another one, NeXT Computer. Without that one, he would not have chance to go back to Apple, and iPod, iPhone, iTune may not exist today. His story really touched me. I searched in the Youtube and found a clip in which he gave the commencement speech to the students in Standford.

He said:
"Your work is going to fill a large part of of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet. Keep looking. Don't settle"

When I heard what he said, I had wet my eyes. I was impressed especially by the last few words, "If you haven't found it yet. Keep looking. Don't settle". I was pretty sure he taught me what I should do in the future.

Keep looking. Don't settle.

Steve Paul Jobs

9/28 中午:
當我看到 Steve Jobs 在Standford畢業典禮說的話,
"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle." 


這句話當場讓我紅了眼眶... Keeping looking. Don't settle!